Tuesday, August 28, 2018

Wasted Times


The biggest regret I have is wasting my youth years with guys who made it clear they didn't love me or want me. I'm sure many of us wish we could get that time back. 


Lets take the Petty Queen Mariah Carey who won her lawsuit against her ex billionaire fiance James Packer. He had to pay her a  “inconvenience fee” for pretty much wasting her time.  If you could sue a ex for playing with your feelings and leading you on, would you?


I do believe that every bad or good situation is a lesson. What sucks is finally meeting your soul mate and wishing you would have met them sooner. Feeling like damn I could of gave all this love to the right man. Maybe the universe wasn't ready for you and that guy to meet. Looking back on your past it sure does feel like a big waste of time you could of spent with the right guy. Truthfully I feel like that now. The great part is finding someone who appreciates all the things someone else didn't.

You can't let life past you by waiting on someone to get right. You will miss out on the right one chasing that wrong one.  Check out some ways to tell you're wasting your time.

. No effort: If  a guy puts no effort into seeing you, to be with you or making things better in the relationship he doesn't care. If you have to constantly tell him why you are unhappy and he doesn't try to make things better, just leave. You have wasted your time enough. 

. Commitment: I had to teach myself if he really wanted you, he would make you his girlfriend or wife. A guy who can't figure out If he wants a relationship with you after 3 months of dating is only stringing you along. He will literally keep it that way if you don't boss up and walk away. Don't spend a year with someone who can't figure out if they want you like I did. It will leave you heartbroken for no reason. That's not rushing that's call realizing bull shit.

. Silence about the future: I have noticed this a lot lately. Men who don't want a future with you avoid those topics. 
 5 years in a relationship and he is still avoiding the marriage conversation.. just leave.
 Sometimes Friends Sometimes Lovers: This one is a major one. Guys who want boyfriend treatment but like to prefer to you as the homie. Girl just pause reading this and block whoever he is.  He doesn't want you to have sex with anyone else, he wants to meet the family, have sex whenever followed by a home cooked meal...but you his homie. 



Sunday, July 29, 2018

"What Does A Woman Want"



Have you ever saw a confused puzzled look on your man face? Followed by the question"What's Wrong With You". He looks so dumb doesn't he? He may have stayed out all night and didn't answer one call. So the next morning when you're giving him the cold shoulder he doesn't know what's wrong. Or you may be having dinner but he spends the entire time on his phone. When you have become annoyed by it ,he actually has the audacity to ask, what's wrong with you? Oh trust me I understand.
Women are not hard to understand, but men have a hard time understanding us . What does a woman want? If they actually payed attention to women they would understand. Let me get to the point and break it down.

The difference between a woman and a girl is a girl wants all your attention. She doesn't care that you work and have responsibilities. A woman wants to feel that you do notice her. She is busy too, but acknowledging that you thought about her throughout the day is enough for her. Women want a man to focus on her when you're spending quality time together. If  social media is more important during quality time, she could of stayed home. 

When your woman does something good all she wants is a "good job babe". She doesn't need validation don't get it twisted. She wants her man to recognize she is out here making moves and doing great things. 

Talk! Tell her how you feel and why you feel the way you do. Ignoring her is the quickest way to get under her skin. If she did something that bothers you or hurt you just tell her. Women have no problem telling you why we are mad.. This thing where men are suppose to shut up is a old age thing our grandparents use to do. 

Put some respect on our feelings, our time, and our commitment to you. Respect is not only about talking to her in a respectful manner. Respect means not embarrassing her because you want to entertain other women. Respect her feelings and how she may feel. 

This is a big one. Do you want her or do you not. Its that simple. Commit to her. Drop your others and commit to her and only her. Telling the world who she is so that its really real. Take the relationship serious. If you're not ready to commit ,we would rather you leave us the hell alone. No time for games. 

Men don't listen. You can send a 4 page letter on why you're feeling how you're feeling, and he responds with "What"?
If they listened and was fair in understanding you, their life would be much easier. If a woman tells her man "I miss you, I wish I could see you", understand she actually miss you so do something about it. 



Take charge. No woman wants to wear the skirt and suit in a relationship.  Plan things for her and let her know. Women love when a man makes plans without getting her approval first. 

Saturday, July 21, 2018

Kayla Got The 411 Podcast: Episode 12- The Dating Game



 

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Listen to "Episode 1: "Sidechick Predicament"" on Spreaker.




"The Dating Game"

Welcome to the dating game. Where you put your faith and trust into a guy hoping you hit the jackpot and that he turns out to be the man of your dreams. Then you realize you put all your trust , energy and faith into him, only to strike out and he's not the one. Yes sis, that is the dating game. You lose some but the goal is to win. 

I look at my dating experience as a game. Between me and you I hated games all my life. Boards games, card games, sport games, and games played with my heart. Don't play me , play lotto! 

See you meet a guy, then you waste your time getting to know him by telling him all the amazing things about yourself. Also while listening to all the lies and bull shit he tells you about himself. Just when you really think you got a good one, he turns out to be trash. Conversations start to fade. Now you have to dispose him and keep it moving. Let's hope you don't get dickmerized in the process. Then you move on and do it again, and again. Playing the game until you finally win. 

Sucks but its part of the dating process. You literally have to kiss a million frogs until you meet your King. I can easily say don't get in your feelings but who am I kidding. Accidentally falling for someone happens so often. Mentally and emotionally prepare yourself for the good and the bad. Go into every dating situation knowing this could work out and this could be a disaster. What do you really have to lose? Don't be scared to date thinking you are bound to get your feelings hurt. By doing that you already have set yourself up to fail. 

If you haven't realized men lie just for the hell of it. I find it very creepy. It be the stupidest unnecessary lies too. Remember to always do your own little investigation. That's the best way to avoid egg on your face. I had a date with a guy one time. I had a funny feeling in my spirit. I found out he told me a fake name. After I discovered his real name I ran a background check on him. 

"Oh Yes I Did"

He had a criminal record longer than Ariana Grande pony tail. It included assault, assault, assault. You get the point! The same way employers call references you do the same. It's all fun and games but remember this is your life so don't gamble everything on a man.