Friday, April 29, 2016

Forgive or Walk Away From A Cheater ?

The most powerful thing about a woman is the way we love.So to cheat on a woman is probably one of the most hurtful, embarrassing things we can go through. Its a topic most women hate to admit. As women even myself can sometimes be hard on other women in regards to her forgiving or walking away. 

After this past weekend, Beyonces HBO special Lemonade shaded light on this topic. About intuition, and denial, and the anger of being cheated on. But also redemption and hope. You do what's right for you. But don't allow anyone to hurt you over and over and use you. Here are five tips from me to help you decide if its worth forgiving or walking away. 

-Resume of cheating-

Ask yourself how did you two get together. Did he cheat on a ex to be with you, now turned around and cheated on you? A person that constantly cheats on you and everyone they end up with clearly has a issue that they only can fix.  Normally patterns don't end, they keep going and going. 

-How Bad Was It-

A person who had a long affair and carried it on for years is the hardest to just forget over a one time slip up. You can't allow a man to cheat, say sorry, 20x through out your entire relationship or marriage. Its not fair to you. Ask yourself did the affair bring baggage meaning a child or drama. 

-Can You Trust Them Again-

Betrayal is the worst feeling a lover can do to a spouse. But if you decide to forgive can you truly honestly trust them again. You can't say you forgive a person but deep down inside you are worried, and on edge that they may do it again. If you know this is something that hurt you to much you can't trust again that's a sign to walk away.

-Reflect To Before-

Was your relationship in a good place and you had no clue they were cheating? Normally if you expected they were not happy and had a gut feeling something was up, it would be more forgiving.  If you were blindsided there comes the feeling of betrayal. How dare he!

-Is He Worth Forgiving-

Is your guy a good man outside of him cheating. Is he someone who treats people with respect and is loved and respected in the community. Was he treating you good before you found out. The last thing you want to do is forgive somebody who's not even worth it. Is he somebody you saw a future with, marriage, kids white picket fence. Don't save a relationship with somebody who not worth it. Use this as your escape plan.