Unstable

If you're a subscriber you will know Janine is a R&B singer who's lyrics I have used as topics. She has a line in her song called Unstable. She sings:

"But loving you is chaos

But the fire is incredible"

You may be in a volatile relationship where it's always arguing and just unhappiness. He doesn't understand you, he doesn't care or it may feel like he doesn't even try. The fire is in the love and passion, but truly you know that situation is chaos. How do you handle that? Leave!

Being in that type of relationship or situation is not mentally and emotionally good for your spirit, soul and heart. You need balance. The break ups, and back and forth will drain you sis. He loves you,  he loves you not. Those sudden changes of moods is not good. The feeling of joy and the disappointment is enough to spiritually suck you dry. There are steady situations for you. You just have to decide you want better. 

We all want to be with the one we love. It's only natural to want to spend your life with that person. Is it worth you destroying yourself just to tolerate a inconsistent situation? Men come and go. Cry about it and just be done with it. Janine has another line in her song where she sings :

"You bring me to the top

To throw me down to zero"

They tell you they love you,  but hurt you. You're at the top, and the feeling of disappointment feels like winning a race only to be told after the fact that  everything you did to win you still lose.

A friend once told me "You're not in love. You think you love him because you haven't been brave enough to let that go. This back and fourth thing is rocky. Why can't you let him go and be with someone who brings peace and harmony in your life. "

Check out Janine single "Unstable". She's one of my favorite artists.

NeveR ThE RighT TimE

Do you think it's true that everyone has a soulmate?  You know that person no matter what path you both take in life, the feelings always stay.  The person who knew you,  understood you,  and made you feel complete. 

But

It just wasn't the right time. You love them,  they love you but right then at that moment it just wasn't the right time for you two to be together.

You both or one of you could not be particularly ready to settle down.  You know that this person is the one for you but it just won't work out. Maybe both of you want different things in life.

The most devastating feeling is to have to love someone from a distance. Knowing you can't be together when all you want is them.  I believe the pain comes heavy having to watch them move on.  Never the right time is it?

People sometimes meet at the wrong time in life.  You may be in college or working on your career goals and they have their own thing going. Or you may be in a whole relationship with someone else and here he comes.  Messing up what you thought, was a good thing.

It's easy to say well if you love the person go be with them.  Easier said than done.
But real life shit happens.  Love has detours.  Sometimes you can get through it,  but sometimes you have to go another path. Get it!


Never the Right Time?
Or Not The Right One.

Never The Right Time

Never The Right Time, an album by Janine on Spotify

Make sure to check out past episodes of my podcast.  😗

STRAIGHT OUTTA PATIENCE: "With His Family"

Happy holidays to you all. I hope you have been keeping up with my podcast episodes. This 4th episode is perfect timing for the holidays.  You may be meeting your guys family for the first time, or spending the holidays with him and his family. Dealing with your man's family can either be amazing or a train wreck.

Sometimes you're just straight out of patience dealing with his family. Trust me I have experienced my share. You know you have had enough when you find yourself in the bedroom away from his family because you are minutes away from letting somebody have it.

Look I know you want to make a good impression. It is important to your man that you as his girlfriend or fiance get along with his family. No matter what they throw your way. Trust not every family member will be a pain, but you may have one that is really pushing it and asking to get slapped.

Men are sometimes blind to the disrespect their family members do. They feel like it's just their way of messing with you, and drilling you. But he needs to understand...this is not damn boot camp. You are his woman, they have to accept that you are his woman. Their favorite line is " DO NT BE SO OFFENSIVE, YOU JUST HAVE TO GET TO KNOW THEM"

See those smart comments, and interrogations can hit a nerve, especially if you're the new girlfriend.  Shade is shade. Joking is one thing, but if you feel shade, block it.

When your guy brings you around his family it can either go two ways. Either the last chick he was dating was so awful they are delighted to have you in his life. 

Or

They loved his ex so much they think you are just a waste of his time and a waste of their time and they want no parts of you girl.

Beware if he has sisters. I always felt brothers were easier to deal with. Men don't get into their brothers love life much, unless they feel like you're a gold digger. Majority of the time the sisters are known to give their brothers girlfriends a hard time.

If you feel like the smart remarks and other things you are dealing with his family are becoming a bit much talk to your man. Remember this is his family. Most men are in denial about their damn family and the uncomfortable vibes the girlfriends go though. So tell him how you feel but watch your words.  Saying the wrong thing could jeopardize your relationship. If he ignores you it's your decision to deal with the disrespect or walk away. Thinking that marriage or baby will help them accept you doesn't always work. Be cool, breath, walk away if a family member tries you. You don't want to be next year's holiday topic when he brings his new girlfriend. 

Are Side Chicks Winning? (MUST READ)

Lately side chicks are a new trend for men, besides rompers lol. It's a big topic in the media but also a big topic in the communities. From fight videos trending of the main chick fighting with the side chick. Side chicks are bragging about being a side chick. It's like they have their own society. 

Remember there use to be a time when Mistresses were ashamed to admit they were dealing with a taken man. They knew they were a slut but if anyone knew it too it was a embarrassment. Think of the biggest side chick scandal.  

Monica Lewinsky admitted she had sexual encounters with President Bill Clinton on 9 occasions and even admitted Hillary Clinton was at the white house during some of those moments. To actually admit, yes I knew he was married, and yes it was under the same roof as the wife.

But today in 2017 men want themselves a side chick. Rapper Lil Boosie had the nerves to say “Now I do be respecting the women who go back to they men. I like that. See the girl who went back to they man. Waka Flocka old lady. See I respect that. All these people leaving and doing all of this and she go back to her man. Cause she know it’s bigger than that man. It’s a home; it’s a family. I respect women who take they men back after they cheat,” said Boosie.

Men find that inspirational to cheat with a side piece and come home and have a home cooked meal by their main chick at home. Who is normally the one who holds them down, makes sacrifices and all. Also to even think that his main girl should be okay with it because she is supposedly his number 1. Really?

So it goes back to my question. Are side chicks winning? They get gifts, money, trips and less drama because they are not his number 1. He gets what he wants from her and she gets what she wants from him. 

But......

Truth is, being a voluntarily side chick is not winning. By voluntarily meaning you know he has a woman but you don't care. Lets keep it real sometimes you can be a side chick and not even be aware you are one, because men can lie so well. Side chicks you are losing, To allow yourself to be number 2 in anything, and accept that , babe you can never win. To lay down with a man knowing he has a woman that says a lot about that person. You lose them how you attract them. Side chicks find any excuse to clarify why they do what they do. "Oh they not together LIKE THAT" or SHES NEVER AROUND' or "HE DON'T LOVE HER ANYMORE."But why even involve yourself in that? So no side chicks aren't winning in my opinion. Because you will always be known as the woman who allows anything. Lastly side chicks always end up having to deal with another side chick. 

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'DON'T ANSWER' 📱

As girls we have that ex who we always fall back in their arms. When we know deep down he is a ex for a reason. But men are very smart and sneaky on their plot to get us back.

I use to have a ex who always would let me know he was in town but would do so after 11pm. Now men who have dated us probably know our weakness. Now my weakness is Sex & Food lol. Now I had to put on my thinking hat a ask myself. "Girl, why come he over here the next morning, when you hated him yesterday"? If he texts me at 1pm in the afternoon he knew I would not entertain him. But if he hit me up at 1 a.m when I am half asleep and was hearing his deep sexy New Orleans accent on my phone line, I might give in. Which I always did for a while. Until I said Ohhhhhh no! I had "DO NOT ANSWER" as his name, but also blocked him. He would leave crazy voice mails but it helped.

Girl do not feel bad. As women we are soft, and sweet. But it only takes that 1 who you will always have a special place in your heart for. But don't let him suck you back in when you left him for a reason. When you wake up the next morning you are going to feel bad all over again for allowing him to get the best of you. Block him, change your number do what you have to do. I can almost promise you the only reason he is hitting you up is because someone else is unavailable. So be strong and "DON'T ANSWER".

Make Up Sex ? Or I Miss You Sex?

Arguments happen in relationships. It is totally normal for you and your significant other to have fights. The subject of make up sex or I miss you sex was a topic between co workers and I today. It was very interesting hearing others opinions on this topic. Before I jump into this topic take my quiz now below. Then keep reading.

Make Up Sex Or I Miss You Sex?

Make up sex, having a big blow up then making up with sex is the best I can't decide! Sex is just amazing period.

Yasss, I miss you sex. The feeling of anticipation of seeing them. Other Please Specify:

Poll Maker

Make up sex is so passionate. After breaking up, and reuniting its a way to take out your sexual frustrations on each other. Whether its a big argument you and your man had or even break up, sometimes makeup sex can squash the beef. Have you ever been so mad at your man, then you two have rough passionate sex and all of a sudden you aren't mad anymore? You two just made up. But don't depend on makeup sex to fix problems in your relationship. Make sure you later talk about what and why both of you were upset anyways. I noticed in a previous relationship the makeup sex distracted me on major things that needed to be addressed. So enjoy it, do your thing girl but don't let it distract you.

I miss you sex is my favorite. I miss you sex is very emotional, and meaningful. You may have broken up, and months or years went by and you have always missed the other person. I look at I miss you sex as a way of showing your man how you truly feel. It feels like a spark all over your body because you had been waiting for them and yearning their touch. I miss you sex could also be a eye opener of what you thought you missed, but realize you really don't.

Either way always make sure you use protection when having sexual intercourse. Sex is a amazing experience to share with your partner, but always practice safe sex. Hope you enjoy my poll. Share with friends.

Not The Right Time

You know that saying, "If its meant to be, it will be". Its 100% true. If you love someone, and they love you it will come together. If it doesn't it just means they weren't the one. If people love you they will fight for you. The main thing women ask for is their man to fight for them. Prove you love her, and want her. Chasing and fighting for someones heart is two different things.

Breakups can be easy, or hard. If its easy, that shows you they were not that special to you anyways. But if months, and years go by and no matter and you still wonder how they are doing, or are okay that tells you allot. But one thing I can say ladies. A mans role is to lead, protect, provide. The most you can do is tell him how you feel. The rest is up to him. If its worth it, it will be. If it isn't wait for love again. A love that sticks like super glue, and doesn't come apart. ❤

Also check out this cool app http://sharepop.co/ff1758

What's The Biggest Lie A Guy Has Ever Told You?

Men Lie & Women Lie. But Men lie a little worse lol. What's the biggest most bizarre lie a guy has ever told you? Share below, tag and friend and repost. Let's see what the most craziest lies are.

The biggest lie A Guy has ever told me was about how many kids he had. Well I had a Lil side boo I was getting to know. Mind you he had very childish attitude at times. I remember once we were in the grocery store and he rolled water melons down the line. Yes he was 20 something...Remember I said he was a side boo.

Anyways he was a joker.
So I remember when I first met my daughter who's now 4 was only 9 months at the time. I remember his supposedly 1 son was the same age as my daughter. So weeks later one night he just blurted out "I got another baby mama back in Kansas." I jumped up quick. "What you said you had 1 here in Atlanta, so how many kids you have? He had the nerves to say a total of 4. I'm thinking who the hell lies about their kids. His excuse was he didn't want me to judge him. Um.... you lying that you have 3 kids is me judging you all the way. 😂😂😂

Bizarre right?

How To Tell Hes Cheating & Spare Yourself The Embarressment

The worse feeling ever is having someone else bring information to you about your man that you did know. By information I mean telling you your man is cheating. Its a big slap in the face. Now truth is no matter who you are, you can get cheated on. If  Halle Berry can get cheated on, we can too. But the best thing to do as a woman is always be aware of things different in your man.  A lot women have the signs right in front of their eyes but refuse to pay attention. I don't want you to take this post as all men cheat, because that is not true. But dont be so foolish to think you are so amazing and your sex is so great he would not dare cheat. Dont forget  Nicki Minaj got cheated on herself. Just do not be the girl in a 10 yr relationship who man cheated 8 of those years and had no idea.

• If you call him and he does not pick up and sends a text right after, that is a sign, especially if it happens constantly. Why cant he answer the phone? "I'm busy". Well he could of said that on the phone as well. Pay attention to how many times he does this, and time of the day.

• Changes password on phone and social media. If your guy was always open with his social media and phone, but suddenly he wants privacy. Ding  Ding. That is odd right? Look into that. It could mean he just wants his privacy or he just wants to keep his conversations private.

• Rumors. Haters never want to see a happy couple. But if you start hearing rumors about your guy look into that. Sad thing is, sometimes the streets know more about your own relationship then you. Do not ignore them. Investigate for yourself.

6 Ways To Tell The Relationship Is Completely Over (Must Read)

◀The relationship is making your life stressful▶

Being in a relationship is a privilege and great opportunity. To have somebody who is willing to let you get to know them, and love them and build something with them. A relationship should never feel like a hard long stressful day of work. Yes relationships have challenges, but don't let that confuse you with unnecessary drama. A relationship should be something you enjoy and not get a headache from.

◀You see no future with your partner▶

Let's say you are 20. If you and your guy are having issues now, can you imagine yourself dealing with that same thing when you are 30. 10 years from now. Do you see yourself getting married, or starting a family? These are clues that the relationship is over. You may want all those great things, but sit down, evaluate everything in your life and ask yourself can you be with this person still in 20 years.

◀There's No Communication▶

Have you ever heard people say, we lack communication? Meaning it's not gone but it can be improved. But if you and your partner have none at all, that's a major issue. If you leave the house and your spouse doesn't even ask where you are going, or cares, that's a communication issue. It means the communication is so bad that even when you are mad at each other, not talking to each other doesn't bother you.

◀Me Time Is Better Than We Time▶

If you enjoy more time to yourself than with your partner, you should ask yourself why am I still with this person. If the thought of them being home , or at the same place as you annoys the hell out of you, you should be worried. People who are in love with each other and value the relationship love quality time together. They find pleasure in a date night at a dark theater with their man. If you don't, then you should figure out how to end things quickly.
 

◀Family Ties Broken▶

Relationships are funny. You find yourself so friendly with a guys family, and he does the same. Then you may notice they don't come around your family as much. They try to avoid being around your family and you. Them making a big deal because you have family coming in town. Normally it's because they don't want to face the reality. Once a guy is over you, the feelings go away for your family too.

◀ Just Doesn't Care Anymore▶

This is my main one. Guys who care show you they care about your happiness. You can tell a guy how you feel, what you wish he would do, but if he doesn't put effort into fixing those key issues in the relationship its over. A person who wants to be with you, will do what they have to do to keep the relationship. Telling a person , i'm not happy, over and over again, eventually there should be some actions. If they don't care, you should'nt  care.