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Showing posts with label girls. Show all posts
Showing posts with label girls. Show all posts

Sunday, January 14, 2018

Wack Sex: Stay Or Go?



The most annoying feeling for a woman is laying next to a guy after bad sex.  Bad sex doesn't always mean the sex itself was bad.  Leaving a woman feeling unsatisfied is also bad sex.  It's like going to a new restaurant that looked great on the outside, but once you got there and tried the food it wasn't all that. It was BLAH!


Men don't realize that bad sex for a woman is the biggest deal breaker. Size is not always the issue. Let's keep it real girls,  a lot of grown ass men don't know their own strokes and movements. They think because they are big in size that's all is needed.  The same way they put effort into getting meat out of crab legs, put the same effort into your woman during sex. From most women I have spoken to,  the number one problem is ..

Women are soft, and gentle naturally. Sex is all about the anticipation. Foreplay is cool if that's what you're into.  Kissing, licking, sucking are all some key things guys can do to lead into sex. Make her want it by teasing her. Their major problem is no patience. They want to dive in, get their nut and go to sleep. All in 1-5 mins while you're laying their unsatisfied feeling used and unwanted.

Men think women are like jack rabbits who want to go on and on all night. I have even heard the line, "You'll just lay there." They're so one sided to understand the length of sex is not the problem.  Them not fulfilling their sexual duties by making sure their woman is satisfied is the issue.
I remember in my last relationship he would wake up the next morning confused as to why I was so upset. Had the nerves to say "I know you not mad about last night?" Of course after satisfying him and 3 mins in he gets what he needed and falls into a deep coma of sleep after wards, I would be pissed off.

 It got to the point I was so turned off by it I hit my ex up the day after.  At least he knew and understood my body. That was a deal breaker for me.  So what your sex is good, but if 80% of the time you're selfish and inconsiderate to her needs it's not worth it.

So the big question is...

Sex is a big cause for break-ups and infidelity in relationships.  People we who aren't satisfied tend to wander off. Most people don't like to admit it,  but I will.  Sex is very important in relationships. So if you decide to stay talk to your guy about your desires.  A lot of your men don't even know you're not sexually satisfied, because you don't talk to them.


Thursday, January 4, 2018

Are You Willing To Give Sugar For A Sugar Daddy (Must Read) πŸ‘€

Take Poll 1st


Would You Be A Sugar Baby For A Sugar Daddy?

Yes, spoil me!
I already am πŸ˜‰
No way, I value myself.
Other
Please Specify:
Survey Maker

When I say sugar daddy I don't mean the candy sis I mean that old man who's probably old enough to be your dad.  If you're really messy,  he may be old enough to be your granddad. A sugar daddy is pretty much a older man who lavishes someone younger with gifts,  and money only if she does something strange for a little piece of change. Not all the time but majority.


 I an not a sugar baby.  Personally Ive  had a few old men try to recruit me. If we really gone keep it real,  I have thought about it especially during my college days. I even made a account on one of those websites, one in particular SeekingArrangement.com
I SURE DID GURLLL.  When I got a message from one of my teachers from middle school trying to recruit me,  I knew it was time to deactivate.  

What I realized for me personally I am not fake enough to act interested in a sugardaddy. Plus most sugar daddies love submissive women. If you're opinionated, bossy, and demanding he can't tolalerate you. He doesn't want a baby who's gone talk back. Most sugar babies don't find their sugar daddies attractive, they find his pockets more attractive. A lot of them play along to get what they need from him. They don't love your old ass. 

Truthfully I don't look down on girls who have sugar daddies. I'm open and understand why they choose to do so. Even if I personally would not. In my eyes I look at it as desperate times call for desperate measures.  She must really be going through a hard time to tolerate it. 

Most studies show that college women between ages 18-25 are normally the sugar baby age group.  Think about it?  You're in college, on your own trying to pay for books,  and tuition. From experience college is hard and a lot of life responsibilities come with it. Chipotle cashier or sugar baby?  Some sugar daddies just want the attention and company of a young woman.  Then the other majority wants pleasure. The girls look at it as easy money and gifts. All they have to do is please him.  Sometimes it's also a low self esteem thing.  Feeling as if they are not good enough and wanted, but this older man comes along to give them better.  Let's not act as if the men don't do it for their own insecure reasons.  Using money, and gifts to bribe beautiful young women into being with you. 

Most chicks I know who have sugar daddies never fully admit to being sexual active with him.  They always say he's just nice like that. In my mind I'm thinking.... 

Not many men no matter how old and desperate they are will spend money and buy gifts and lavish vacations and get nothing out the deal.  It's like a business deal.  You do for me, I do for you. Men have been doing it for years, and women are now doing it to men.  Telling people you have a sugar daddy is also embarrassing. That's something I feel you need to keep to yourself. Just make sure someone knows who he is just in case he's a insane person and your life is in danger. Truthfully most sugar daddies have a wife and kids hidden off somewhere in the suburbs, so sis your secret is good with him.  But I have heard of these situations turning out bad. 

I watched this documentary on the life of sugar babies and dealing with sugar daddies before writing this.  . 

 In 2014 there was a kick-start program for a documentary called Daddies Who Date Babies. (sounds creepy right).  But it must have never been created. I came across a tumbler page  for it of people telling their stories and how dangerous it can also be. 
 I quote one story from a commenter. 
Just remember to be careful. Your life is your choice.  I don't condone being someones sugar baby but I don't judge people on it.  I want all us girls to work hard, be independent.  Reality is real life happens and some have to survive.  Please be careful.  Remember that leading men on can be dangerous. If they are buying you gifts, taking you on dates ask yourself what will they want from you?  Be smart,  be safe .

Saturday, December 30, 2017

New Years Resolutions (Goal Digger Edition)


Hello everyone.  It is now 8:25 p.m eastern time on December 30, 2017 as I write this.… One more day in 2017. Have you looked back and reflected on how this year as a whole turned out?  I did and I truly must say as a whole this wasn't a good year.  Between the violent mass murders, police brutality, weather catastrophic,  this was a rough year. One thing I do hope is 2018 brings us more peace and love. 

I am not going to make my resolutions for 2018 just to not do it.  That's the thing people don't actually think things throughout. I look at new years resolution as goals.  I feel like saying resolutions sounds good but in reality there are things people put on their list knowing damn well it won't be done. You may work out,  for a week or two. Or the ones who say they're going to start going to church every Sunday.  You see them 1st Sunday and never again. 

My resolutions are goals. Things I know I will do,  because it will help benefit me. Check out my 5 goals. Next year around this time the goal is to come back and hope I got them all completed. 

 The first goal of mines for 2018 is to take some hosting classes.  One way I would like to expand my brand is by interviewing and hosting.  I would like to learn more about that field,  before I actually go out there and do it. 

 I have a major fear if heights. No joke.. Going to the mall and riding the escalators freaks me out. Because of my fears I have never been on a airplane before.  This is one goal I must force myself to do.  A great opportunity may come up and I can't allow my fear of heights to stop me. 

 Third is to get my articles featured in other publications.  I always wanted to be a guess writer for Essence Magazine. I will truly be submitting more submissions into them on topics hoping one catches the editors attention. But to get Kayla Got The 411 as the author throughout many publications is the mission. 

 Networking.  It's hard to talk to others who aren't in my field or understand my passion of writing and my newest podcast. People who don't think like you won't get it.  I will be going to many network events in 2018 to meet women like myself who have business goals they're trying to achieve. When women put their power together we do a lot of great things. Plus I am fun,  outgoing, and know what I want.  I need to be around others like myself. 

 Focusing on my family.  Recently I saw my father who I haven't seen in years.  I don't know him,  and he doesn't know who I am which is sad.  Meaning, we have no idea each others personailty. I want to put effort into getting to know him.  Maybe that way all the questions I have can be answered. I want to do more family activities with my mother and daughter. My daughter and I always do fun events.  But I want to get my mother to join us.  These times are precious and I don't want to take it for granted. 


Happy New Year Dolls.  Thank you to ever subscriber,  and person who comes to read my post.  The views, and shares this year were amazing. I was sometimes shocked. I'm happy to share my experiences.  I am no expert. I am just a girl with a passion for writing who shares her experiences. If I can make you laugh, smile , or say yassss at least once,  I have accomplished what I wanted. Be safe, be brave, be bold see you next year. 



Thursday, December 21, 2017

NeveR ThE RighT TimE



Do you think it's true that everyone has a soulmate?  You know that person no matter what path you both take in life, the feelings always stay.  The person who knew you,  understood you,  and made you feel complete. 

But


It just wasn't the right time. You love them,  they love you but right then at that moment it just wasn't the right time for you two to be together.

You both or one of you could not be particularly ready to settle down.  You know that this person is the one for you but it just won't work out. Maybe both of you want different things in life.

The most devastating feeling is to have to love someone from a distance. Knowing you can't be together when all you want is them.  I believe the pain comes heavy having to watch them move on.  Never the right time is it?


People sometimes meet at the wrong time in life.  You may be in college or working on your career goals and they have their own thing going. Or you may be in a whole relationship with someone else and here he comes.  Messing up what you thought, was a good thing.

It's easy to say well if you love the person go be with them.  Easier said than done.
But real life shit happens.  Love has detours.  Sometimes you can get through it,  but sometimes you have to go another path. Get it!

I walked away from someone who made me the happiness I ever been with a man.  His presence, his personality, his heart, I loved.  But his future and my future didn't mix.  I'm a good girl.  I want to go the narrow path in life, become a mogul of my brand. Build success the right way.  He is the opposite, he wanted to have success and money no matter the consequences.  I didn't want that, and he didn't want to change who he was. Love is amazing, but sometimes your soul mate enters your life at the wrong time.  Maybe if I met him years later when he was mature and thinking different the puzzle would fit.

Never the Right Time?
Or Not The Right One.



Never The Right Time

Never The Right Time, an album by Janine on Spotify



Make sure to check out past episodes of my podcast.  πŸ˜—


Monday, September 25, 2017

Wendy Williams: Husband Caught Creeping & Shacking Up


So He Creeps? Oh boy,  the daily mail dropped a πŸ’£for real today.  Looks like someone has been following talk show host Wendy Williams husband Kevin Hunter for over a year now.  The tea they gathered is so hot my fingers are scorching as I type this.


Talk show host Wendy Williams is a radio legend now TV host.  With 9 seasons on air that is epic for a black woman. But girl..... As much crap she talk daily on her show about other celebrities,  she should have knew that her husband was shacking up nine miles from her family home with another woman who's much younger.


This is something we women do alot.  We judge women,  and put down others relationships to the point we are clueless on what the hell is going on in our home. I don't care who you are,  or what you do. If Beyonce allegedly got cheated on,  all our asses can too.  You can't worry about someone elses lawn when yours is 4 ft high.

Photo credit (Daily Mail)
Kevin Hunter also Wendy's manager allegedly has a home worth 750,000 with this 32 yr old massage therapist Sharina Hudson. He got her almost a 1 million dollar home, with money he made from Wendy Williams brand.  He even has his damn name on the mail box. They have being eating out at restaurants and going to the gym.  They supposedly have been together more than10 yrs now a source told daily mail. 
Now I hope Wendy is not that dumb she couldn't have realized her husband was living with another woman and still coming home to her and her kids.  I mean why have a hot topics team if they can't get the scoop on you too.  This is a big epic embarrassment for the talk show host. She was just giving Kevin Harts wife Eniko advice through the TV screen about cheating husbands.  Also you all her husband was seen with the alleged mistress right after her public vacation with husband Kevin to πŸ‡§πŸ‡§ 2 weeks ago. 


Photo Credit ( Daily Mail)

Let's see if Wendy mentions this.  Now this is not the first rumor of him cheating,  Mrs. Wendy has admitted of infidelity in the pass from Kevin and says she doesn't regret forgiving him because it made the marriage stronger. Wendy has publically showed her despise of sidechicks. 





Hey Wendy!!  Girl what you gone do?
What can she do?

Read full article here to see timeline of pictures 













Thursday, September 21, 2017

ThrowBackThursday:Damn Kayla!

I never knew how creative I was at writing until others acknowledged it.  I won two poem contests in middle school.  With one,  I won 3rd place and my poem was displayed in their publishing book.  I went to college for design,  while there a English teacher told me she thought I was a amazing.

I remember I wrote lots of poems about how I was feeling. Lovely Face book reminded me of one titled "I'm Ready . "

I don't even remember this but I read it as if I never heard it and I myself am amazed. Now my English grammar is so ridiculous. Remember in 2009-2010 people thought it was cool to purposely misspell words.  Not cool at all.  Check it out.




Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Kayla Got The 411: #GirlPower

Story Time:

I was at work and this lady was 15 minutes late for a interview. I come in from break and she's by my desk.  I said " hey have you been helped?" She let me know she was here for a interview in accounting. She said "they're doing work on Interstate 285 so traffic was hell,  coming from Stone Mountain".

So I called over and the person who interviewed her has a, reputation of being a "strict" 

She said "Did that lady just get here?"

I paused and just instantly lied.

 "It looks like she's been waiting in the lobby, I came in and saw her just sitting. I just came back from break no one has helped her,  but I will send her over".

The girl said "OMG thank you".  I said it's ok good luck on your interview.

30 minutes later she came and found me and hugged me.  She said, "girl thank you for having my back. I got the job,  I start Monday".  I told her we black women gotta look out for one another. Just women in generally.  I'm happy you got it.  She was so happy. She said sadly most women especially black women don't stick up or help one another as much.  I told her no problem I have been there and I understand.  She said lunch on me lol.

It truly warmed my heart.  I didn't do it for a reward.  I know when you travel for a interview anything can happen to cause you to be late. Things happen.  Seeing her happy made me happy.  I truly believe if I told her interviewer she was late and just arrived it would of ruined her chances.

So girls let's look out for one another.  One compliment or kind gesture can do alot for another woman.  Girl power. 

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

Pretty Hurts?




Being pretty is a privilege and curse. Being pretty means to most men she's a catch. They see you and think, "shes the one." What can we offer men besides being pretty?  Can you cook?  Can you keep your house clean?  What type of goals do you see for yourself in the next 5 years?  Do you have higher education?  What's your skill? What do you do for your community? See if you can't answer those type of questions, you need to work on you. Being pretty will get him,  but will it keep him?




Pretty face,  big boobs,  thick thighs is what men want?  But I can almost bet allot of these men would go crazy if we all were just pretty and that was it. She couldn't cook a pack of noodles.  Her house was filthy,  only if she has a crib.  Sex so good, goes for hours and hours, but she doesn't work only lays on her a$$. Sounds like a one in a million.


                          Sarcasm..... 

You don't want to be a pretty girl with nothing going for herself.  Be the pretty girl with brains.  The pretty girl with ambition,  the pretty girl with hustle,  the pretty girl who's a boss.  Being pretty doesn't have to hurt.  Being pretty should just be a bonus to other awesome things you bring to the table.


Thanks... also if you are looking for me on Instagram. My account @kaylagotthe411blog was disabled due to the hack or just haters.  I have been reaching out to instagram daily. Current back up is just @kaylagotthe411

    

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Who's Man?


What does it feel like having to constantly worry about other women taking your man?  Having to watch your man move on with the woman who possibly interfered in your relationship. As a woman who never experienced that can you imagine that feeling?  The humiliation, and feeling like  "Damn What's Wrong With Me?" But there's nothing wrong with you, something is wrong with him. Yes it is understandable that people fall out of love.  Let's keep it real,  some women are forced out of there relationship because another woman decided your man was a catch instead of a single or divorced man who's available.  What can you do if your man cheats or leaves you to be with another woman?  What you shouldn't do is be out here in these streets fighting over a man.  He's not worth it at all.  If he wants to go,  let karma take care of him.


Recently comedian Kevin Hart's wife Eniko Parrish had the nerves to respond to a follower on Instagram as if she was clearing up some things, but what she did was clarify everything ex wife Torrei Hart has been saying.  Kevin allegedly cheated on Torrei with Eniko and they got divorced 6 years ago, but Eniko claims her and Kevin started dating over 8 years ago, which was allegedly the reason for the failed marriage. Now keep reading. 


 Eniko responded to a follower 

“Their marriage was broken way before I came in the picture.. They were separated living in separate homes. I was never a secret." 

Now she took it upon her self to keep responding. She even went on to say Torrei spreads those lies trying to play victim. Now Torrei has been very classy and mature over the years allowing her and Kevin's kids to take family photos with a woman who is not there mother. 


Now what mother you know would allow her kids to take family photos with her ex husband and his new chick?  I'll wait πŸ•–. So Torrei gathered the other Mrs. Hart quickly by saying, 

“Eniko sweetheart normally I don’t feed in to this, but when you addressed me directly, you forced my hand to respond. We have made successful strides to become a loving co parenting family, but you have now left it open for my character to be questioned. You, Kevin, and I know the truth

Yasssss Torrei.  (ROUND OF APPLAUSE) 


Now we can't forget the biggest "Bitch I took your man", moment in Hollywood. Angelina is my girl, but I can never stand for her taking Jennifer Aniston husband Brad Pitt at the time.  Jennifer and Brad got married in 2000. Shortly after Mr & Mrs Smith hit theaters Brad and Jennifer were announcing they were getting divorced.  

Angelina is a shady home wrecker indeed.. She had no sympathy or remorse for taking that lady man lol. Brad admitted he fell in love with Angelina on the set of Mr & Mrs Smith.  

 Angelina and Brad were even spotted on vacation after the split,  and Angelina even got pregnant in 2006, a year after split from Jennifer. 



Brandy Glanville is known from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.  She may have a bad reputation,  but she did not deserve what LeAnn Rimes did to destroy her family.  LeAnn has been so disrespectful as far as flaunting it. LeAnn not only took her man,  but also seems as if she wanted to take the damn woman kids too.  LeAnn the country singer career has suffered from her being known as a home wrecker. LeAnn's own ex husband spilled the beans.  He actually encouraged her to star in the lifetime movie that lead to her meeting Eddie and both cheating on their spouses. 




Here's Swiss & Alicia Keys.  It seems as if people really have turned a blind eye to what Alicia did.  Producer Swiss Beats was married to R&B star Mashonda .This has been a long messy triangle. I remember years ago Mashonda saying Swiss abandoned her and her son in a house that was falling apart and she couldn't afford it. The strange part is there's no real public timeline of when they actually started dating.  Alicia has said in the past Swiss and Mashonda were well broken up before she came alone.
 Swiss even had a baby with another random woman in 2008 during marriage to Mashonda then turned around and married Alicia Keys in 2009.

Well years later seems as if Mashonda has let things go and matured way more than I could.  Her ex husband Swiss Beats,  and Alicia Keys were spotted all on vacation together. Where Swiss and Alicia flaunted there love in front of her. 



Allot right?  Truthfully girls I could of kept going from Kylie Jenner,  Tyga,  and Blac Chyna to more. See the truth is women go through this daily.  He's your man,  then another woman decides she wants him. Then the big confusion starts where the question is,  who man is he? You are amazing,  if he doesn't want you,  you may cry,  curse. Trust me,  you will find love again. Let her have him.  Karma is my 1st cousin and she plays no games. 



Sunday, August 13, 2017

Protecting Your Valuables(The Truth About Feminine Products

I first started my menstrual at age 9. I remember not having a clue what to expect but my mom gave me a pad to put on my underwear.  I can't recall how many times I put a pad on wrong and messed up a pair of jeans. Then once my monthly cycle ended I was given a douche to refresh and supposedly clean my vagina from odors.  Not knowing what I know now,  I have been harming my body for so long.


As women it is very important we keep our body's safe and protected. Our body is a valuable jewel. You guard it with your life literally. Our vagina is precious.  We use our vaginas for many things which why it is very important we know what the hell we are putting near that area.
I came across a breakfast club interview where comedian Tiffany Haddish (Click To Hear Her Story) talked about when she was a young girl and used a tampon because she had no pads.  She talked about having to go to the hospital due to TSS shock.  Some of her symptoms were  high fever, low blood pressure, chills, dizziness, and light headed. I thought to myself "What the hell is that?"






According to WebMD one of the causes of TSS shock is the use of using tampons brands that use harmful chemicals. Trust,  they know that they are harmful but what profit would they make by telling women. They release poisonous substances from an overgrowth of bacteria named Staphylococcus aureus, or staph, which is commonly found in many women's bodies. The cotton we put inside us or from the pads are dyed,  and absorbed with very dangerous chemicals. Mucosa membranes line wall is  1/3 of our  vagina that protects us from bacteria but absorbs chemicals very very well. So that means those chemicals are getting into our bloodstream. The materials used in some tampon brands are using extreme pesticides and chemicals.  When I hear pesticide I think of poison. Procymidon and piperonyl butoxide are the most common. To some it may not be a big deal.  But when it is affecting our bodies it is important.  Some safer brands are Natracare, Diva Cup, Seventh Generation Chlorine Free Organic Cotton Tampons. We need our products.  But let's actually educate ourselves on what we are spending our money on.  



Douching is something I am guilty of doing for years before I knew more about the bad it was doing.  Growing up some use it after your menstrual to keep it clean and fresh.  Some even use it to help prevent sexual diseases.  Which is very confusing to me.  

The only thing to help that is safe sex.  But doctors studies show all that is a lie.  It can cause pregnancy complications and infections.  It is suppose to be a mixture of water and vinegar to help clean us out, which they contain antiseptics and fragrances. Douching can through off our natural balance. It can cause harmful infections including yeast infections, bacterial vaginosis and pelvic inflammatory disease. The safest way to clean our vagina's is using mild soaps, non fragrance sprays, and powders. Baby powders are very dangerous as well. Studies show most women who commonly use it below are more likely to get ovarian cancer. Also ladies. This may be something that sounds tempting on a hot sweaty day but baby powder is not something we should want to use below.

Girls I hope you enjoyed this post and most importantly take it serious. Our body is valuable it belongs to us. So lets protect our girl parts. For an questions please see links above. Also check out my previous post. Keeping your vagina purtty.







Tuesday, August 8, 2017

The Dating Struggle


If you haven't lucked up and already found a good man then girl keep reading. The problem isn't finding a man to date,  the struggle is dating men in this generation.  They don't even have the courtesy to ask  you on a date so they can get to know you.  Their ideal of a date is coming over to your crib,  hoping you cook or at least have snacks.  With hopes they can get to know you more by getting inside of you.  


It normally starts off,  "Send me a picture" or "When can I come see you? " You're thinking boy "I just met you".  Alot of women are single because they truthfully don't have the patience for it anymore.  Stop saving numbers in your phone,  because by the end of the year you will have a long list of contacts under names of guys you won't even remember. Why is dating is such a struggle for single girls?  

  1. Well first off men don't have respect for women.  There are so many thots out here who set the tone for modern day women.  Men think if she looks that good and she gives it up easy,  then all pretty girls give it up easy.  We have to demand men to respect us.  Stop sex on the first date,  that's even if you are asked on a date 
  2. We deserve to be taken out and felt special.  If he really likes you he should put some effort into it.  As a grown as woman that Netflix and chill is not hot and it's a cheap excuse for a man to use your wifi and watch your account,  smash,  and go home.  
  3. What's worse than talking to a guy who can't hold a intelligent conversation?  Almost as worst as watching paint dry.  Conversation is the key reason why women leave guys on read, we women want a man to stimulate our mind. 
  4. It's hard to find a available man.  Not guys who claim they are available,  men who have no wives or baby mamas hidden.  This is the biggest issue we have.  The 100 lies told to cover 1 lie.  All to avoid being caught up.  Literally these men are for everybody 

The best way to get through the dating struggle is to upgrade our taste in men,  and stop even wasting our time giving any ol body our time and energy.  The way he introduces himself says it all.  So what we may have to weed the bad ones out the bunch.  You gotta kiss a few frogs before you find your prince right?  Ha!  Truth is figure out what you can do different to change your dating experience.  It's not always the men,  sometimes it's just you.  



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