Intimacy Intervention (Essence article)

So I came across this Essence Magazine article its from April. It was titled Intimacy Intervention:

'My Husband Says His Mind Wants Me But His Body Wants Her'. So that caught my attention. I was like what now? So I read it and you can take take a look at the article and the letter this woman wrote seeking help Read Full Article Here. And to read the advice she got back.

So this woman wrote in for help. Her husband was having an affair on her with the babysitter/family friend. She found out cause her child from a previous marriage thought it was odd the stepdad was at this woman's house before the kids came from school. So her husband told her he was cheating and told her he loved her and did not want to break up the family but asked her to consider and jointed relationship with the other woman SAY WHAT?  Yes he told her it was her fault because the sex was boring because she was not into the oral and anal stuff. 

Ladies reading this every where. I am not judging but I have a opinion. I was in a relationship and when I found out my guy was cheating I remember this person he was cheating on me with said to me oh he says sex with you is boring, that's why he got with me and all this mess.  I was maybe 21 and I was pregnant. I remember thinking for just a sec like it was my fault. But I snapped out of it and realized it was manipulation, and selflessness.  There is no reason for anybody to cheat on you, Because if the relationship was that bad and he cared he would have came and talked to you or tried to help the relationship. Some men try to manipulate women that the relationship is boring and that's the reason they get with other women, or they suggest a cheat past. Or they just want to try something new. That's fine and if that's the case let her know and keep it moving, If you haven't heard of a cheat pass, men are actually getting women to fall for this mess. They feel they should get cheat passes from their wife, or girlfriend to make the relationship better. Dumbest shit ever.

Ladies don't you ever let a man manipulate you into doing anything you feel in your heart is not right or you don't want to do. If you travel for work, don't you fall for the "Your always gone' line. Or if your pregnant don't fall for the"your pregnant and I need sex" line. A lot of married women are letting their men have full blown relationships with women because they feel he should be happy. No you should be happy. I have cried over a lot of guys myself. So I never want any woman out their sitting home wondering why is doing this.

Five Signs your relationship has intimacy issues according to www.couplescounselingchicago.net

1. Sketchy relationship history

2. Problems communicating emotions

3. Engages in forms of infidelity

4. Addicted to new relationships

5. Emotionally and physically distant

Outfit Ideas For Meeting the Family(Holiday Edition)

The holidays are here, tomorrow is thanksgiving. Hopefully you are getting the lucky chance to be put through the most awkward experience ever. Meeting the parents. Yes meeting the parents ,or the entire family is a deal breaker. Everything could go great and they could love you, or you could turn out to be the worse girl anyone every had come over. I will tell you what the major deal breaker is when meeting a guys family, and that is your outfit choice. The same way you put effort into a job interview should be the same effort you put in meeting a guys parents. I will give you some ideas. I have never had a guys mom not like me, hell they always love me.


Here are some good fashion ideas. You don't want to show up to casual but you don't want to come over dressed.

Wearing black is perfect, but a nice comfortable black jumpsuit is better, its simple but shows you put effort, pair it well with some jewelry and a simple hair do and your good to go.

Long winter wide skirt will make you the talk of the dinner, its comfortable for you, and will make you look good in front of the family. Also you choosing to wear a long fashionable skirt instead of a club attire skirt will impress the women in the family for sure. You can top it with a sweater like the model.

A dress is always the lady like way to go. Just make sure you pick a long sleeve dress, or mid sleeve dress to make it look more conservative, pair it with knee high stockings or leggings with a a heel or boot.

My last tip for you ladies is dress how you want them to be addressed. If you want the family to respect you and take you serious, take the situation serious.

No shade but don't come dressed like this. cute outfits not when meeting the parents. 

1. Rule 1, don't show to much cleavage, you don't want his dad or brothers staring at a side of breast throughout dinner.
2. Rule 2, nothing mini, if grandma sees just a once of your vagina or ass, your done.
3. Rule 3, try to stay away from destroyed jeans, come as if you put thought in meeting them. Not like you put on a pair of jeans, a shirt and was out the door like it wasn't nothing

Last Rule BE YOURSELF! out cant go wrong being you.

AMAs Recap (My top 6 fashion moments?

So the ladies slayed last night. The ladies lit the rest carpet and stage up. My top 6 fashion pics were hard cause it was so many choices. But these ladies were jaw droppers for me. 

1.Nick Minaj

2.Jennifer Lopez

3.Carrie Underwood

4. Delena

5.Demi Lovato

6.GiGi

Online Trolls (how to handle bully's?

@kaylagotthe411 took action and spoke out to someone who was making mean comments about a toddler

So if you are not familiar with @theshaderoominc urban enterment site. I love their postings. But the comment section is ridiculous. I've seen a lot of stuff said online that was wrong. But I think today when I saw a grown woman call a child  a gremlin. That's when I knew, okay this is to far, and my mommy instinct kicked in. If you can see, I told this female about herself. As a mom,could you imagine if @kourtneykardashian daughter actually saw that comment. Not from a peer but a adult. What do you do when your child comes home from school in tears. Funny and Nasty comments are two different things.  Back in my day the 90s, we had no social media, it was bulling in your face. Which is one of the worse scarest type.

As a kid 4-5 I was bulled so bad on the school bus, I hated even riding the bus. At that age I was in kindergarten. I remember 3 kids particular who were maybe 2nd graders , would just mess with me to just mess with me. I remember they took my book bag and put in out the window one day, just laughing tainting me as if they were going to drop it. I remember just crying sitting there doing nothing. I remember a guy I liked Dontay, same age, said to them "leave kayla alone" he took up for me and they begin to bully us both.I am now 24 but I will never forget what he did for me. At that time I was raised by a southern grandma who in her eyes I should have fought them. But at 4-5 who knows how to fight. I went to school with them same 3 bullies for years after, they came from a bad neighborhood, 2 were girls, had multiple babies at a young age, they all dropped out school. When I look back at my life and theirs today I won, and it made me strong. But as a parent or adult, how do you handle bulling. As a mom who has a 3 year old who is starting school soon, I know I have to teach her not to be the bully and how to handle a bully

It starts with more leaders willing to say hey, leave that person alone. Its a low when you talk down about somebody who you don't even know. It says a lot about the person.

Enjoy my read, you to can help. It just takes courage to say something when you see it.
If you or anyone knows someone being bullied, or cyber bullied, getting online threats, visit http://www.stopbullying.gov/  learn how to prevent it, how to handle it and even report it.

Which Lipstick Shade Is For You (Follow up to 11/15 post )

The best way to get make up tips is using celebrities with the same skin complex as you for inspiration. They have some of the world's top skilled makeup artists. Studying their makeup can also be a good way in finding a lipstick shade that works for you.

What Color Lipsick Is Right For You?

Take The Whats Your Best Lip Color Quiz Here After Reading Blog

I love lipstick honey. Its my go to move for a pop of spice. I feel strong and sexy with a lip color on like most women.So women are all about the eyes, or the lip, or the brow, well I am all about the lip. When I first started I use to wear lip colors that were just not right for my complexion.It was my first year of college I got into it.  As I grew I now know what lip stick works for me. I watched a few youtube tutorials back years ago, and its also about actually wearing it out, and walking past a mirror and seeing how bad the lip color looks on you. Sometimes you may spend a good bit like ive had on a lip stick and wore it out, go home and said yuck. Not for me.Its okay ladies, that's how we learn. I remember a go to youtube video I saw years back to help me. How To Make Any Lipstick Work On Deeper Skin Tones

But also the most important key is your skin complexion and tones

There are more tips on picking out the right shade and here are 3

• Lip Shape-darker colors make lips look smaller, bolder colors make lips look bigger
• Skin Undertone-Cold or Warm is what you should think of.Look at the veins in your arm in the light. If they appear bluish, you’re cool and if they appear greenish, you’re warm.
• Hair style and hair color-celebrity colorist Ludovic Audesson of the Alessandro Mangerini Salon in New York told Today. “Auburn hair looks beautiful with lipstick shades that offer a violet undertone," he says, "while light and ashy blondes really need pink undertones, even in deeper shades.” The possibilities for women with brown hair are broader, but “orange, red, or violet [hues] can all work nicely on brunettes.”

Do you remember your first shade of lipstick that you always wore? Check. out mine