Sunday, May 12, 2019

"Mothers Love" #HappyMothersDay

Happy mothers day to all the mothers in the world. Whether you were in labor for 12 hours, adopted a child, or have step children you love as your own. Today is probably one of those days that all moms finally feel appreciated. Being a mom is one of the biggest accomplishments you will ever have in your life. You birthed a child, you take care of another human being. Its not as easy as it seems. Babies want to put everything disgusting in their mouths, kids love to attempt to run out in the middle of the street soon as you look away for 3 seconds. It's hard trying to keep them healthy and alive but we do. Its a mothers love that can't be taught.

I remember finding out I was pregnant in 2012. I don't recall whether I cried of disappointment at that exact moment but my biggest fear was telling my mother. Being a 21 year old newly single college student barely paying the bills the last thing I needed was a extra mouth to feed. I remember calling my mom and I said" I'm pregnant". My aunt was in town at her house visiting and I heard my mom go silent. She was leaving to go into a private room. First she asked "what are you going to do?" I said keep it. She said," okay we will figure it out." It was only a few weeks after I had found out my boyfriend was cheating on me and he moved out our apartment while I was left with all the bills. The fear I had being in Atlanta all alone, pregnant. Working part time and in school full time. Throwing up for hours at night. Having to get up early that morning to go to class then work. I always say my daughter was a miracle child. The amount of stress I had during that pregnancy and still had a healthy child was a miracle.

No one taught me how to be a mother. What I did know was that I wanted my child to be happy and have her mother. I didn't want anyone else taking credit for raising my child. That's just a mothers love. To provide & protect. You don't know how you will do it but the love you have for them is what helps you do it. I am here queen she tells me. She wants to be just like me. So everything I do, every decision I make is because of her. Some people look at us and see the rainbow, but no one saw the storm it took to get to that rainbow. See children only see their mommy. No matter what else is going on they see and love their mother.

Happy mothers day to all you beautiful mothers out there. I always have a special place in my heart for single moms. We play the role of mommy & daddy. Its not easy but its definitely a challenge.

Tuesday, April 2, 2019


"Give me my flowers while I'm living". That saying means, tell your loved ones you love them while they're here. If you love someone, they should know how you feel. Diddy lost the mother of his 3 children Kim Porter not too long ago due to pneumonia. He was with her for years and constantly cheated on her, had children on her and never married her. He spent 10 years with now ex girlfriend Cassie following the separation. Many fans have slammed Diddy in comments for shouting his love for her through social media, now that she is gone. Some wonder, if she was such a good woman, and great mother why didn't he show this love to her while she was alive? Diddy has replied back to a few fans admitting he made a mistake:

I always tell people how I fell, whether bad or good because it helps relieves stress for me. If I love you, you will know it. The hardest thing is losing a loved one, or a partner and never having the chance to tell them how much they meant to you. Even if I write you a 4 page letter and you never respond at least I let you know and that's enough for me.
My ex and I were talking for 2 years. He always says he is not a affectionate guy, so saying sweet things is not what he does. Throughout those 2 yrs I wasn't ready for a relationship because my previous serious relationship drained me, but I always wanted him to express his love for me and tell me I" love you", and not "You know how I feel about you". How could I know if he didn't tell me? Years went by and he has dated other women and I recently fell in love last year with another guy. I wasn't planning to but when I met this guy it just felt so strong from the moment we said hello. It was a unique and interesting love but it was real for me. Unfortunately we didn't work out due to irreconcilable differences but I still love him very much. My ex and I had a talk where I was opening up about this same guy I fell in love him and the problems we were having. He came out of no where and told me he will always be here for me, and he will always be in love with me. I remember being shocked. I said "Wow, since when", jokingly?  He said he always loved me and I should knew that. He also said he wants me to be happy. I never knew he loved me because he never told me he loved me. If I knew this years ago, just maybe I would of been open to working things out. Now I no longer love him. I moved on and ended up falling in love with someone else. The lesson in that was telling people how you feel when you still have them.

Don't be regretful. Give that person a hug, tell that person you love them. Life is short and tomorrow is not promised. 

Saturday, March 9, 2019

Spring & Summer 2019 Trends

The best part about the warm weather is shopping from the spring line in fashion. In my opinion, the spring collection is a major deal and the best season of fashion. Everyone loves the idea of dressing their best for spring and summer. So I myself love keeping up with the trends especially when I have some upcoming trip or an event. I have read both Vogue, and Elle trends of 2019 and gathered what I feel the average person can pull off. Let's start with my favorite, Neon.

Most of the everyday fashion sites are big on neon right now. The slime green is really a heavy hitter. You must have neon some where in your closet. Its bold and doesn't take much to style, the color itself is a statement.

This next classic theme are the retro sunglasses, which were a big hitter last year. I am seeing the styles more futuristic this year. They are hippy, 70s and funky but still giving you a coming to the future type vibe. I love this trend and you can easily get these anywhere from eBay, Amazon to or Wish for a great price.

The great thing about this trend is you don't need to wear actual snake skin. You can pull off the look with the snake skin pattern. This is really a trend I always wanted to rock but never could really find many pieces. Now they are easy to buy at any retailer. Its sexy and bold. Go for it!


Then lastly is the Monochromatic trend. This consist of wearing different pieces of the same exact color. Some people suggest you use the same color scheme, but I think it takes away from the fun. Stick to the exact same color. This is very easy to do, and will definitely make you a show stopper.

Monday, February 4, 2019

Flaws & All

One of my favorite songs is the Beyonce song "flaws & all".She has a line where she says:

I'm a train wreck in the morning
I'm a bitch in the afternoon
Every now and then without warning
I can be really mean towards you
.I'm a puzzle, yes, indeed 

No one in this world is perfect. We all are imperfect which makes us all unique and special. The moment I became a woman was when I was able to see my own flaws. Its easy to point out others flaws but can you notice your own. For example my biggest flaw is using humor in serious situations. I tend to laugh or make jokes to hide my hurt or anger. It took me a long time to realize I did that. That's one flaw I don't know if it will ever go away. My ex use to call me a ass hole because in heated arguments I would say something sarcastic and mean. I truly come off as not taking things serious when I do. 

Another flaw of mines is the need to search & look into things. You really can hurt your own damn feelings by digging into things. Its almost like a self sabotaging thing. The feeling of "This is too good to be true". If its a good thing I always feel the need to investigate and find the flaw. But what I am doing is a flaw in itself. This is what I am working hard to stop doing.

The part of growth is realizing the good qualities about yourself and also the not so good qualities. If anyone is looking for that perfect person, I'm here to tell you. 

Ask yourself what your good qualities are but also what are your flaws. The thing I have learned is people try to use your flaws against you. Be aware of who you are. Either own it, or make changes.

Wednesday, January 30, 2019

Valentines Day Curse đź’“

Hello people! This is the first blog post of 2019. I have written for years and for the first time in my life I got writers block. Literally I set at my laptop stuck, and not knowing the first word to type. I had to step away and observe and come back once creativity hit me again. Dammit I am back, so let's get into this post:

Every year valentines day comes around and I use to truly dread it. Going into stores seeing those big dumb teddy bears, the half dead flowers, and the overpriced boxes of chocolates. Why, well let me explain myself before you think I'm just hating. 

So I am cursed, maybe! Yes, don't laugh. I use to think I had a valentine's day curse. I know some of you feel like every time Valentines day comes around, something goes wrong. Literally every boyfriend I have ever had has ruined that day for me. I recall once being in high school and my boyfriend went all day without getting me sh*t or even saying happy Valentine's day. All while every other girl was smiling because their boyfriends got them gifts. While I was watching the clock waiting on some type of acknowledgement from my loser senior boyfriend. Later in the day, this fool handed me a small box of chocolate from the dollar store and said "You eat these"?

That's just one valentines day I have time to speak off. Girls why do we make such a big deal of having a valentine on February 14?  I believe it's the one day everyone gets to flex & show that they have someone who loves them. That's not healthy or normal. We should want someone to love us and show us their love 365 days of the year. Guys go out and spend so much money just to prove to their girl "I DO LOVE YOU". So what happens on February 15? Will she still feel that way? Will he continue wooing her? Reality is there is no valentines day curse. We just have not found the right man to romance us, and show use the love we deserve, not just on February 14. I believe now that valentines day should
 just be a bonus day for couples to show their love for one another, just a bit more than usual. Those big teddy bears, flowers, and chocolates does not prove a person loves you. Yes, it is a nice gesture but this is not needed for you to feel loved.  One thing I promised myself was to focus on the love and not the materialistic things when I get into a relationship. Being older and mature now , substance in a relationship means more to me. Because what will happen is you will be in a toxic relationship and wait for that one day out of the year just to feel special by a guy who should of being doing that the other 364 days of the year!